I realised life is hard to go through. I'm sesat jalan ady. Someone anywhere? Pls help me out. These two days, life is difficult 4 me. I kept seeing 'her'. Then, my heart will skip a beat. "Is it her or am I dreaming?" "Why the heck she's appearing in front of my eyes for so many times?" Just when she got me so painful in the heart... She sort of broke a part of my heart (where that part was reserved 4 her. The others are for my 8 hubbies.). It's just so unfair to be meeting her countless times. Well, next time, appear before me when I'm still admiring u lar... My life is always upside down, isn't it?
Now, to tell u the truth... I'm still admiring her in a way I do not know how to explain. And if my friends were to hear even her name, they will surely go *sigh*. So, I kept my feelings to myself. I won't disturd my friends' lives.
I'm bottling it up until I can't bear it. Okay, so I'm still admiring her and she said I'm some kind of stalker. Which it sent my heart to break a piece of it into pieces. Hey, I told u, the other parts r 4 my yu kanda, yunoki azuma, kyouya ootori, yukimura sanada, sebastian michaelis (the latest), etc. You wouldn't wanna waste time reading my hubbies' names, ne? So, my effort to convince her is just hopeless and can be thrown into the sea?
I've tried my utter best to make a friendship with her, by talking to her online. Fs and myspace... We talked like junior and senior all right. Almost there. Boom! Whoa. She knows I'm the same person who admire her? Unforgivable! And the stupid side of me, took action. On teacher's day, I gave her a rose. What was that supposed to mean? I'm showing some kind of hint to her.
Bah! The most idiotic and weakest side of me did a stupid thing. Deep down I was crying because I never saw her holding the red rose ever again. I blamed her that she threw it away. Damn it! Tch! But then, I never knew I've been stalking her life. I blamed myself and refuse to admire her again. I deceived the inner me and tried as best as I could, to hate her. To make her the one I hate the most. But the more I tried, I ended up hurting myself even more. I just don't want to know that.
Ugh! I'm a weak person inside. Although people say I may be hyper, energetic and whatsoever, I don't believe it myself. I know that I'm a weak person inside. I love myself if you asked. Yar, I love myself but I hate myself too. I can't explain in words.
Lastly, AZRI... when are you able to forgive me? I don't accept hate in life. To me, hate does not exist in my life. I dunno but maybe people do hate me a lot. But hate is the worst thing that will hurt me. I love everyone. I'm fine here. I will go on living. Gambatte!
Yar... Sebastian Michaelis is my eighth husband. Although a demon (akuma, as he says), he's sweet!!! Yar, I won't forget Yu Kanda!!! ^.^
Innocent Me
6:05 AM
Profile
Name: May Ting (Michelle)
Nickname: Yuka Koyomi
Birth: 16 December
LOVES
1. Yu Kanda(An obsession)
2. Lee Sungmin (Kyumin)
3. Kim Heechul (Hanchul)
4. Azuma Yunoki
5. Watching Anime.
There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me
Your two warm hands get cold when I’m cold, your heart which used to be strong gets sensitive when I’m hurt
To silently take my hands, to silently hold me, I only wish for those small comforts
You don’t know this heart of mine, which always wants to do more for you
My heart, say it out loud, my free soul
The days left are even more than the time when I came love you with a heart which always felt like the first time
There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me
When my greedy heart gradually looks to other directions, when my greeds grow more than my mind can handle
To understand, to tell me clearly after all those excuses “I’m here”, only that one thing
I’m always thankful. Will I ever act that well just like you
My heart, say it out loud, my free soul
The days left are even more than the time when I came love you with a heart which always felt like the first time
There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me
You know what, little much little even though I’m shy, you don’t know it but you’re burning like the sun, please understand my heart
Even though those girls appearing on TV shows are sparkling, I always look at you (I’m crazy crazy Baby)
Hearing you tell me “I love you”, I have everything in this world You & I, You’re so fine, Is there even anyone like you?
I love you Oh, please know it, that to me there’s only you, that I foolishly see you as my everything
We came on the same road, we are just like each other, how surprising, how thankful, it’s just love
There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me
There’s no one like you
Innocence
Innocence stolen without my permission
Innocence gone without my submission
Innocence lost through another’s plan
Innocence no longer for another man
Innocence turned to hatred and fear
Innocence gone, no man can come near
Innocence taken from a little girl’s heart
Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart
Innocence disappears like dew in the sun
Innocence faded before it’s begun
Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon
Innocence ripped away too soon
